Guard: “Here we have a classic example of someone trying to abuse citizens. Notice how he directs his insults at a child? Little David is only 17 years old. Also, note the reference to his “pubes”. We take this to mean this offender is sexually aroused by young men’s pubes. Note the use of the banned word “g*y”. Don’t do this shit! It gets you sent to the gulag!”

New Worker: “But isn’t this a joke? The offender, who has a name, Owen, was using a rather colloquial expression used by manly men in all ages, usually by older men towards younger men, about the extent of their biological development as a man. Having pubes would denote being ‘of age’, a time when boys learn to become ‘men’, to take on traditional responsibilities and hardships.

Guard: “I know you are new here, so I’ll stop you right there before you do any more damage to yourself! There are no “biological” developments that are ‘male’. Nor are there any ‘traditional responsibilities and hardships’ for ‘men’. This is absolutely hate speech, and positively insane.”

New Worker: “And is David Hogg a child? He’s 17…my father joined the Marines when he was 17 and fought in WWII on Iwo Jima. It seems like you’re resting your hat on a technicality. After all, didn’t he join the public debate? Didn’t he incite harsh criticism by dolling it out himself first? Didn’t he call all NRA members murderers? That they have the blood of children on their hands? Isn’t he trying to disarm America because his old parents don’t know “how the fuck to work a government” and him and his young counterparts do?”

Guard: “I don’t think you heard what I said. He’s a child. Repeat after me: little, innocent David Hogg is a child, a survivor, and a hero. REPEAT!”

New Worker: “Why is the word “gay” offensive? Is it bad to be gay? It seems like Owen was joking, and pointing out the uselessness of college these days. Kids rack up debt for useless degrees and then sit around jobless and complain all day. Some move into political activism and become professional agitators. It looks like Hogg is just skipping the college step by not getting accepted into his preferred schools and becoming a political agitator right away…”

Guard: *rolls eyes, takes out a gun, shoots new worker in the back of the head*

Guard: *turns to the rest of the workers* We have successfully re-educated another worker!

Workers: *chanting* Ignorance is knowledge! War is Peace! Hogg is a hero!